Episodes

Jon and Kurt have a little forum about the most amazing couples ever. Those from fiction. From wars. From the bible. From the arts. From politics. From legend. Forged in love or in greed, these couples all have a fascinating story to tell.

Did you know Time magazine was actually an acronym? In this episode, Jon and Kurt have fun with explaining, finding, and debating fun acronyms that are used in every day conversation. Please RSVP...if you want to be redundant.

Gin & Tonic. Salt & Pepper. Fish & Chips. Done & Dusted. Bread & Butter. Sonny & Cher. Earth Wind & Fire. Lock Stock & Barrel. Signed Sealed & Delivered. All of these examples are what are called Irreversible Binomials & Trinomials. The cute phrases or names that ALWAYS appear in the same order. That sound really stupid if switched–”Jelly and peanut butter anyone?” Jon and Kurt, feeling this is truly excellent smart drivel, delve into the world of irreversible binomials and trinomials. Some they...

We all did it. We all went to school with open minds, excited to learn new things. We, here in the U.S., learned a lot about our country’s history. Interestingly, with the lens of current knowledge, we now know that a lot of what we learned was not exactly correct. In this episode, Jon and Kurt unearth some of these discrepancies and attempt to set the record straight.

Anthropomorphism is the attribution of human traits, emotions, or intentions to non-human entities. We do it all the time…giving inanimate objects human-like characteristics. Well, in this episode, Jon and Kurt turn that on its head and decide to give humans the qualities of inanimate objects. In this case, the boys pick famous people and present a case to support which cocktail they think that person would be. Who is a martini? A hurricane? A Negroni? You get the idea.

Ben Franklin is deeply embedded in the American ethos. He was a Founding Father, an inventor, a printer, an author, a diplomat, a man about town, to name just a few of his talents. He was prolific to say the least and was a true Renaissance man. In this episode, Jon and Kurt marvel at his successes and share some of his lesser known accomplishments.

Just because you are an incredible inventor, politician, musician, actor, artist, etc. it doesn’t mean you aren’t without your quirks. In this episode, Jon and Kurt reveal some of the, ahem, “odd” traits/behaviors/obsessions of famous folk. Guess it makes us feel better for always wrapping our microphones in baloney before each episode.

In searching for answers to quell fears or explain life’s quirks, humans have oft come up with some pretty bizarre beliefs. Tomatoes are poison? Witches steal a particular male body part and keep them for pets? Baths are dangerous? Photographs steal your soul? Ya, pretty funny yet weird stuff in which we used to believe. Jon and Kurt use this episode to recount and wonder at some of the strangest of these.

Jon and Kurt return to a theme from the early days of Smart Drivel as they give examples and discuss sayings that just make no sense. Some, like “on cloud 9” confuse one and not the other while others, such as “the exception proves the rule” require much thought. They agree on some, bring up some classics like “pick the low hanging fruit” and try not to have a “near miss.” Near miss? Um, we think you meant “near hit.”

We always worry about the large looming events that change history. Yet, often, history’s pages are changed not by some titanic event (pun intended), but by small, seemingly inconsequential occurrences. A wrong turn, a different kind of rivet, a misplaced comma, a cuppa tea, a laziness in rushing out on vacation, etc. all led to seismic changes in history. Sadly more for the tragic than the benevolent, but these small things punched way above their historical weight. Jon and Kurt point out a few...

Jon and Kurt wonder at the pervasive use of animal idioms in everyday conversation. Why do we call someone a Black Sheep? Or accuse someone of crying Crocodile Tears? What is a Paper Tiger and who famously made it into an insult to his enemies? Get the Albatross From Around Your Neck or the Monkey Off Your Back and have a listen. This episode is The Cat’s Pajamas.

No, dear listener, this episode is not about everything that can go wrong in a podcast episode will go wrong. It is, however, a quick dive into Named Laws of nature or corporate life or technology or etc. Jon and Kurt share and discuss “laws” that are named after people. Where did they come from? Why were they so named? What did they seek to memorialize as a law? Remember Cheop’s Law (he who built the Great Pyramid): “Nothing ever gets built on time or under budget.” Not even a podcast.

There is an actual “Museum of Failures” which memorializes products that were massive failures. Classics like “neon green Heinz Ketchup” and “Spray on Condoms” (yes, you read that correctly) are on exhibit as are countless others that, while born out of innovation, just never made it. Jon and Kurt highlight a few of the juiciest failures and have fun speculating as to why they never caught on.

Kurt and Jon explore the disorienting land defined by the Urban Dictionary and learn more than they bargained for. As it turns out, Kurt is equally at home with hors d'oeuvres as well as store d'oeuvres. One is consumed in a friend's living room. The other at Costco. If you don't know what it means to be a body booker, say, "Damn, Gina," or engage in the fine art of chipmunking, then this episode is for you. All we know is that Kurt and Jon are cheugies, and you probably are too. Bye, Felicia.

Did you know that the words written on Twitter every single day would fill a book of ten million pages? Did you know that “buttload” is an actual measurement? Jon and Kurt have fun in this episode doling out seemingly ridiculous statements that are actually true. They sound faker than Kurt’s french accent, but are 100% correct.

It started innocently enough when Kurt drove by a parking lot full of fire trucks, lights flashing, but no fire. And it got them thinking, what % of a firefighters day is actually spent fighting fires? (Answer given in the episode.) From there, Jon and Kurt decided it would make a fun game show to ask each other to guess what the % answer was to interesting questions….like what % of people pee in the shower? What % of people say they always read the Terms & Conditions (90%), what % of people sen...

The boys decide to give in to their genetic hard-coding and spend an episode exploring what makes the male human do so many idiotic things. Throughout the ages, it seems that those with the Y chromosome have simply not evolved. The “why women outlive men” trend on social media has it right. Tragically funny and infinitely ludicrous, Jon and Kurt discuss this phenomenon that seems to have sidestepped around half of the population.

The boys are back sharing their feelings. They emote about peeves…yes, all those peeves, be they macro or micro, that get under their skin. But this time, they don’t just dwell on the negative, the bothersome, the nuisances, as they add a new category…pet pleasures. What are those things/experiences/feelings that conjure up releases of dopamine and create a happy place.

Having too much fun with the topic, the boys add on to last week’s list and come up with even more new names for ordinary feelings we all have (like when you have an eyelash stuck in your eye).

Jon and Kurt pick up the scent from an earlier episode where they discovered John Koenig’s “The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows.” Basically, he made up words to fit common feelings that deserve and need to be named. Never missing a chance to make up words (in the hopes of one day making it into the OED), Jon and Kurt hope they aren’t thrust into “joculimbo” when they try to entertain by making up words to describe the feeling of actually cutting the bagel in two equal parts or the feeling of getti...

Ever wanted to know what the difference is between alligators and crocodiles? Dolphins and porpoises? Further and farther? Whiskey and whisky? Plantains and bananas? You get the gist...this episode has Jon and Kurt exploring and explaining these hugely important differences.

What does a Pepsi navy have to do with telling time, reading books, or popes dying? Don’t have a proverbial pot to piss in as you think of the answer? Well, we are sure there is a cool new word that sums up your feelings. And, in this episode, Jon and Kurt bring all of this together to enlighten, enrichen, and possibly entertain.

Jon and Kurt can’t get enough of sharing things that makes the other say, “I didn’t know that!” They once again use the construct of each relating three little known morsels to one another. From the heights of Mt. Everest to the lows of World War I and lots in between, they give accounts of historical eerie coincidences and puzzling math party tricks and more. Set your watch to utc +1 (why? Who knows–seems you can just make it up) and give it a listen.

The boys are back at it. They are committed to teaching/relating/sharing with each other unique and oddball things previously unknown. In this episode they talk about exploding whales, dropped bombs, the oldest professions in the world, and the aforementioned weird etymology of the word “testify.” Grab a thing or two and have a listen….